Ch-ch-ch-changes...

Today I'm reminded of that cheesy song about changes... but it's where I am right now. Tomorrow I start my senior year of college (how the heck did I get here, and where am I going?) Today we got a new SENS housemate, Alix. She has already amazed me. She's a 16 year old sophomore in college. She un-schooled herself (a progressive form of homeschooling for folks who don't know)... and her energy reminds me of my west coast ladies. So we're both trying to unpack and get situated at the same time. I had trouble leaving the chill peaceful energy of Paige's place, but I knew it had to happen, so I finally moved into the SENS house. Our other new housemate, Eli, seems to be a really cool cat as well... during our house meeting I said something would kill two birds with one stone and he replied that we do love to kill birds... it was just hillarious. And of course, I can't not mention my younger brother Wes. It feels good to have a familiar friend starting this year with me as well. Honestly, I think this is one of the strongest groups we've had in the house... Everyone seems very dedicated. That's the SENS update... It's not that SENS is my life (well... actually... hmmm...), but it's a huge part of it...

onto the other things... I feel so blessed to have Megan Bihn staying with us right now. She's always joyful. We've had so many crazy conversations too, she really helps me process my thoughts and experiences.

I'm very thankful today for my tiny mint plant. I found her in a spring about a month ago, and she's really taking off. I feel like this plant is going to be lead me to relationships with other houseplants. :) I love plants.

I'm trying to get my heart together tonight and relax, because everything will be okay. It always is. Here's my prayer to for tonight:

Dear Megan,
Still your nervous heart. Stop, for this instant, and look at the reality of your situation. So you start school tomorrow, so what? You are not in any danger, fear not little girl.
Acknowledge your blessings by having a peaceful heart. Avoid letting fear of the future tarnish this moment's wonder.
Send love to the people in your life who are helping you grow on this journey... and collect the love being sent to you.
With beautiful intention, fill your heart first and work outward from there. Make love crystals.


Those are my hopes for the very near future... and this is my thankful list:
-water to drink
-enough food to eat
-bathroom journals to share life goals in
-Megan Bihn for visiting
-friendships, dynamic and growing
-music to calm my tiny heart
-The movie "What the Bleep do we know" (we watched it as a house tonight and then chatted about it)
-free food!
-fun
-singing
-love
-hugs, at least 8 a day
-that we got my loft bed put together!

update

Hey y'all…
   I'm writing at the end of an 11 and a half hour work day (which I know is less than some put in, but more than I'm used to)… and I must report that my love for SENS and my job here has again surged (as I hoped it would).  Besides programming this week going well what changed my mind was this quote:

"Far and away the best prize that life offers is the chance to work hard at something worth doing" -Theodore Roosevelt

I'm happy, I've got little feet to tickle again on kids who I can take to the park or read bedtime stories to any time I want… I'm happy that I've got 'mators in the garden and canning to do every few days… I'm happy I've got a run in the woods ahead of me today… I'm happy for old friends that hold on… Megan Bihn is on her way to see me, and for these and many other things, I am very very grateful :) 

Learned a lot at a conflict resolution program tonight… will write more soon… just wanted to share a quick update. 

And much love, always much love,
megs

life in b-town

Hey y'all...
am back in b-town... thought you might enjoy some of my reflections from when I was in Anna though... these are some reflections on a walk I took one of my last nights in Anna....

Then the walk around Anna last night, full-up to the brim with memories... Past the library that used to be the Richardson's land... saw the one family in Anna that gave me exposure to race diversity... the football field I sold 50/50 tickets at reluctantly... the track I learned how to run on, yes the track I learned how to run on, to spite Dale Zumberger.... The school I spent how much time in... up the stairway to the drama stage where I gained confidence and some kind of small town fame... past the doors I left three years ago believing I'd come back to the area as a high school English teacher... past the post office that has served as a gateway to far off friends for years... to the community park where the sun seems to set just on the edge of town, so much so that some residents are quite convinced that the world ends just there (except for the other county schools, if not for them what sport's competition would their be?)... standing in a place where the sky is huge and as far as you can see are corn and soybean fields with the occasional farm house or tree break being the only obtrusions on the horizon, other than housing developments that is... housing developments with big SUVs and tiny recycling bins, full of American pride waving their flags high.... Land of work-a-holic for the lifestyle... then turned around again to face the tiny stretch that is our main street... past the bank where I got my first checking account and excitedly deposited Anna scholarship monies... past the store that was the frequent destination of late night "pop runs"... past the old library, now a daycare center... past the spot I rode in a police car to identify the man who had molested my sister and I... past the DuLaney's house that was the home of a best friend in a former life... past the Piatt's house where there are two less person due to Shelby County's alcohol obsession-via the resulting drunk driving and the war on Iraq, where one woman dresses her world in stars and stripes tryin to hold onto what she can.... Past the Holobaugh's house where we would play while Jennie babysat the twins.... Then down an alley where birds fled from one tree to another in groups so large you might need an umbrella to go underneath... it was as if each pigeon was clamoring for the best spot to watch the rapidly approaching sunset... then past Brittney's house where I once peeped anxious to understand she and missy's friendship, anxious to be as grown up as them... then later where I fled to from our house fire to find something to wear on that biting winter's night... then further down the alley to the basin where I learned to play softball in the summer and sled in the winter... past the Cosgrove's old house where I envied Kecia's looks and skills with makeup... approaching now the richest place for memories in this town... the world really... my own house... except from this angle, after this literal walk down memory lane, it too seemed a part of my distant past only... There were the trees that I first climbed and who are responsible for both my spirituality and environmental interests... the grape vine from Mrs. Zook's yard that mama and I used to make juice from... the remnants of Dad's garden... the shed aka-home to our middle school parties--"shindigs" we called them...and as I walk up the alley to it I'm tempted to keep on walkin' into the sunset, walk right past my own house and set out for my westward trek immediately, as my heart is out there right now anyway. So that's what Anna, Ohio feels like today... and I feel the walls of Shelby County just closin' in on me, really. I gotta keep movin'.

......

and back in Ber-town I have a lot of reflecting to do too... am working for SENS again... and it feels good to have work that feels like it has a purpose, and it has been wonderful to see my beloved Ecovillage... yet it is different somehow (I think that's where I come in...)... I've appreciated the comfortable space to grow that our prayer meditation space provides for me... how my heart has missed that! It's good to live with Paiger and Lucias, who informs me he is too old to be called Lu-puppy anymore, and also that he isn't a dog at all... he's a boy... so I can't even call him Lu-dawg. He tells me he's a human being... so I've agreed to call him "bean" and that's not pleasing either. He started kindergarten yesterday... yes, that chubby faced two year old I remember has grown into a crazy-punkish 4 year old wearing chuck taylors and pirate tee shirts to elementary school with his long curly hair. It's really cool.

something I'm struggling with lately is getting motivated to jump through hoops again... I feel like nothing matter more than developing my heart and sharing love with the world... I've been focusing on being a source of presence in the Ecovillage... and going from there.

and oh those trees... the best part of Berea is the quiet I get from those amazing woods. Have yet to get in a good night hike or campout, but I might save that for when Jessa-baby gets back in a few days. Have been running and that is good too...

thankful list:

-good books that help you grow--the current one is The Art of Loving ... I'll share some quotes later

-Friends

-People who shine with love

-tomatoes!

-rainwater cisterns

-elderhostel groups who want Ecovillage tours

-sun ovens

-Eckhart Tolle

-Switchfoot

-food (tofu, rice, cereal, rice milk, water today)

-grandma's cookies

-music that speaks

-all the baby handprints on low windows in the commons house

hey y'all...
many appologies, I haven't had luck with the picture posting lately... It's been pretty hit and miss, so there still aren't desert pics, Ava pics, Anna pics, or Sydney pics... and I leave for Berea tomorrow...
Am psyched that dawny z and I will get some chill time together :) Will be rad-tastic, I'm sure.
Tomorrow afternoon mumsie, Jen, Mid and I are cannin' peach jam... that's always a summer favorite. I was worried I wouldn't get to do it this year but Sarah C. hooked me up with some over-ripe peaches from her family farm stand and I couldn't say no.....
Am very sleepy... but now running on that silly second wind that keeps you from sleeping when you're exhausted.

Not much news to date...

thankful list:
-peaches!
-5k races at Tawawa
-things that build hope
-seesters aka sisters
-Ava!
-Jeff's good days
-mama
-Quakers :)
-HBFDs (you know what it means...)
-I could be uncomfortable, but instead, I'm not... (you might know what that means too)
-lists, they really help me organize my life into bite size pieces small enough to work with

Let me set the scene for you-

This week in Anna, Ohio has been a hot one. When I get up in the morning at first glance it looks foggy outside, but upon further inspection I realize it's not fog, just the severe humidity.... I get ready for the day. Take a shower... and there is no such thing as drying off in this humid weather. The temperatures have been nearing 100, but with the humidity, the heat index is well above it. When I run with my sisters before we start we drive a cooler with cold water out to our turnaround point, and if we didn't, I'm not sure we'd make it the two miles home... this is summer in rural Ohio... the county fair just ended. I didn't go this year, but enjoyed reading the articles about it in the paper everyday.

In the midst of this summer-tastic weather-the notorious Jordo Beans has finally set up the kiddie pool for our evening leisure. I have two days off from watching my little Ava (she has to get used to her full time babysitter again sometime). We're all running about frantically to get stuff organized for Missy's wedding.

If you're in the area with a cavity, please, for your own safety stay clear of Dr. Huskey's office. I just got back from a three and a half our marathon appointment in which the hygenist said things like:
"hmm... I'm not sure what to do with this one"
"we're going to numb them both at once and try to work quickly"
"you're squirming a lot, is this hurting you?"
"well... I'll just have to get the Dr. Huskey in here to look at this one, I'm stuck"
needless to say, I don't recommend their services. Dentists like that make you want to brush your teeth at least 50 times a day and refuse to eat anything containing sugar.

But alas, in the midst of this scene there is a lot to be grateful for.... the thankful list for today is:
-my dentist appointment is over!!!!!
-that I'm not planning my own wedding anytime soon
-that I don't want to be a dentist when I grow up (I should say "if" I grow up)
... and more seriously:
-ice cold water that is clean and safe
-sunshine
-naps
-fans
-fireflies
-food to eat
-breezes
-a house
-my fam
-thoughts of Berea, Oz land, and the ever beloved Cali

it's been a while!

Hey everyone,
I know it has been a while... and indeed I have been slipping on this blog thing... I do believe I'm over jet-lag (which is quite the accomplishment, I think).

Let me give y'all the update:

My heart is full! It's been energizing to be with my fam again! I couldn't have a better life:
-I watch my little Ava during the day. She makes my heart happy... we dance together, and laugh too. We've taken to going on long walks every afternoon after lunch. I think she is still my nature baby.
-I'm runnin' in the evenings with my seesters. They're graciously patient enough to put up with my slow pace and encourage me all the way.
-I'm doing sudoku and cross sums before bed (the mathlete in me love this!)
-I'm catchin' up with old friends all over the place
-I got to help out at the little kids summer reading party and the teen one as well. At the teen one I met some very cool cats... this little boy Bryan was the funniest dancer I have ever seen, and his enthusiasm was unstoppable and contagious.... this very quiet girl Sarah taught me how to play Egyptian Rat Screw and we had a good time as well... and it's always good to get to spend time with Aunt Pegasus, Joy, Shelia, and Midster. I also met Maria, the new ya librarian, who Missy and I both adore!
-Everyday I find new opportunities to utilize the power of the now... and I'm still enjoying Eckhart Tolle's latest book New Earth.
-I met Joy's little boy, Chase, who has the best baby cheeks on this side of the Mississippi (I'm certain of this!)
-At night Missy and I usually take a walk around the ol' Anna... and appreciate fireflies together.

It has been interesting to be home...
I notice the violence in American culture more that I've been away from it.... also the little gm tags on the fields of corn and soybeans... that's difficult for me to reflect on.

At night, I keep looking for the southern cross, even though I know it won't be there. I'm so used to looking at it and reflecting on my day.

The weekend before last, I ran a 5k with the fam. It was nuts... 9am and 95 degrees with 80% humidity... I had a good go at it, but I nearly passed out half a mile from the finish... so we did a bit of walking... last weekend's race was better. It was cooler weather and I was more caught up on sleep, so I was actually able to finish without walking, yahoo!

Everyone here keeps growing older... people are getting married and having babies.. I feel as though I'm somehow immune to the aging game... as I go into my last year at Berea and sling-shot from there to wherever I land for the next few years... without any plans of "settling down" on the horizon.

Yesterday, Missy and I went to the Quaker meeting in Sidney. It was good to catch up with that wonderful bunch of folks! Marie mentioned how our culture asks people "what have you been doing?", "Where have you been?", "How are you?"... but often forgets to ask "How are you growing?"... after the meeting, she asked Missy and I how we have been growing.... I think that Australia made me very independent when it comes to my own spirituality... I'm thankful for that.

man... this has been a long one... I'll get some pictures of the desert trip and Sydney and home up as soon as I get the chance... until then, please accept my love :)

megs

ps-thankful list:
see above section about my life right now!