Two drummers on stilts during the return to life part of the protest.
The fenceline was a place for much prayer. This is only one small section that was covered with crosses, flowers, and notes.
Part of the vigil, this group solemnly carried coffins.
Yes, you read that right "1,000 grandmothers for peace"... these ladies were adorable and brave. A few of them crossed the fence, but more of them just shared their passion and compassion.

Nathan and Martina, the two brave Berea folks who later crossed that fence.

SOA protest reflection (please be a kind reader as I have not slept more than 6 hours this entire weekend)

Alas, the day has brought news and (surprise, surprise…) reflection.  I received notice that the Teach for America program has said “thanks, but no thanks”… and I have to admit that was a little surprising.  I do feel that my energies must be needed elsewhere, and I continue to search for my place (or at least a temporary home, after Berea).  I thought again about what my mom says about a life of service is being what you feel called to be… following your heart where it may roam.  I agree to some extent that I can serve in whatever position I may find.  However, I do feel that I should not contribute to that which I wish to be free from… for example, I think I was a darn good McEmployee (don’t tell anyone!) —always trying to be friendly and share joy but I didn’t feel that being a part of that corporation was helpful to the world.  So I’m somewhere in the middle (a place very familiar to me) feeling as though I can serve in any position/job and also that I know what I’d like to support and what I would not.  Please feel free to leave suggestions, and tips for the afterlife (after Berea College, that is). 

Also interesting today is that I’ve felt such enjoyment out of being in this reflective/ sleepy mood.  I find that in times when I am sleep deprived I have a little bit more wisdom, a little different perspective, than when I’m most awake.  Perhaps it is because being on the verge of sleep is like being at the end of your day and tying your loose ends… looking for the next step on your path, consoling your spirit. 

The weekend at the School of Americas protest was most amazing and inspiring.  I went uncertain of how the crowd of folks from various backgrounds would work together to build inspiration.  Early on I was slightly annoyed at certain folks for their lack of a sense of responsibility, and lack of a sense of time.  That didn’t exactly stop, but things definitely changed as time passed. 

We arrived at a campground in Columbus, GA around midnight on Friday night after a 7 and a half hour ride.  We set up camp, played silly games (the green glass door, and “I’m drawing a line, who am I thinking of?”), and for the most part kept our conversations light and away from our purpose.  Piled into a tent with about 13 other people (it was a good size tent) I silently prayed and hoped that our group would be effective in the coming days. 

Saturday morning came earlier than I expected as we all rushed to grab some breakfast from a lovely woman who lived near our campground.  She had set up a little bit of an impromptu catering service out of her house for the one time a year when that tiny campground is brimming with activists from all over the country.  We then went to the morning plenary session, which was most interesting.  We chanted, prayed, and sang together speaking of nonviolence and the importance of civil disobedience.  I have to admit at times it felt cult-ish to be reading the rules of nonviolence aloud with a few thousand other people.  However, no more so than any organized religious group… I actually identified with people who go to the mega-churches because it felt mighty empowering to be surrounded by so many people with the same goals.  Alix said to me that there seemed to be a inordinate proportion of beautiful people.  I couldn’t help but agree as there was a bit of a haze of peaceful love surrounding the entire place.  Then we went to the actual gates where for the rally.  There I quickly lost touch with the group as I was distracted by nonviolent demonstrators, folks tabling, people cheering, and the general buzz of the crowd.  I meandered about between the tables of anti-SOA shirts and looked past our group for a minute to the guards at the edge of the fence.  I badly wanted to understand their perspective and relate to them as humans.  Alix and I, once we met back up, went on a quest to talk to the first guard who smiled at us.  When asked what their beliefs about the SOA were, the guard responded that she was not authorized to answer such questions.  As I saw various signs commemorating numerous victims of SOA violence I thought for a moment about the similarities between myself and a “pro-life” picketer.  I put pro-life in quotations because I feel that folks who often identify with this title do not agree with other issues that I would consider to support life.  I wondered for a moment about the incongruence of not supporting war and supporting a woman’s right to choose.  So much depends on how life is defined.  Snapping back to the protest I was moved by hip-hop rhymes with soul that truly moved my spirit.  I was then reminded of what I would only be able to articulate after one of the afternoon’s non-violence training workshops.  At the workshop to learn about becoming a Conscientious Objector to war the leader defined a conscience as “an inward knowledge of right and wrong with a compulsion to do that which is right.”  This is what I based my later actions upon.  I have only confusion towards the opposition of our peaceful movement (the military personnel, and the system that they support and enable).  My conscience tells me that killing people is wrong.  My conscience tells me to stand up for those who have no voice…

        We were told that we were going to be part of the largest nonviolent demonstration on a military base since Vietnam.  They estimated that upwards from 20,000 people would be in attendance on Sunday.  Saturday night two of the Berea College students (well, one is on a leave of absence) came forward to the group that they had entirely decided to cross the fence and be arrested.  Because they believe that in doing so they can raise greater awareness for the need to stop the hostility, because they believe that they should stand in solidarity with our brothers and sisters in Central America, because they feel called to do so, they violated federal law to commit civil disobedience and take the peaceful message onto the other side of the fence.  Martina shared with us that being on the other side was a powerful experience, that it was amazing that only a wire fence existed between the two alternate realities…. One where people hugged freely, sang, danced, picketed and another where everyone walked around with guns.  Nathan felt called to cross the fence to take the cause as far as possible.  They will both be tried for trespassing in January and put in federal prisons for 3-6 months.  I feel very inspired that of the 20,000 or so folks 2 of the 13 who crossed the fence were people I knew.  They followed their callings in spite of any fears they may have had.  Courageously, they marched with a message of peace and a certain decidedness about their futures.  I did not feel inspired to cross the line myself, as I feel I would be more effective outside of prison for the time being… I did feel inspired not only to share the SOAwatch message that the torture must be stopped, but also to listen carefully and head the nudges my heart may send to me.  I felt new energy to seek my path. 

        Along the lines of SOA I suppose I should give some type of a run down for the folks new to the SOAwatch campaign.  The School of Americas a military training school (now called WHINSEC) which teaches torturous tactics to military personnel of Central and South America.  We train whoever supports us, and in turn they oppress their peoples in our name.  A few countries have withdrawn their military from the school because it routinely trains human rights offenders.  To read more details visit www.soaw.org  (please, please visit!)

        Sunday at the fort was the most powerful day of the trip.  We began with a solemn vigil as we slowly marched to the names of victims of SOA violence.  Protestors brought crosses with the names of victims to bear witness and remind everyone what we were there for.  After hours of name reading and slow marching a joyful noise broke as the pupitistas and drummers flooded the protest with joy and hopeful optimism, without which I don’t think anyone would have left as inspired as they did.  After two days of learning of the horrors and remembering those lost we celebrated the beauty of life.  The streets were full of laughter and dancing bodies all moving to the beat of drums and chants of democracy.  This was the side of activism I’d been looking for during the last few weeks, the joyful, the celebratory part of doing work that brightens the future… work that feels true to my conscience, true to my heart.  And thus, I conclude this little blogger update with hope that I find more long term work that makes my heart equally as happy and engaged. 

Thankful list:
-the brave people I know!
-the voice of conscience
-the beauty of life
-fruit-loop parties that can only occur with soy milk purchased from the piggly wiggly while you wait for your friends to be released from jail.

-pictures with loving notes on the back from former housemates
-courageous grandmothers who face second and third offense charges to stand in solidarity with people they have not met
-my fleece that found its way back to me with all of the lucky charms and beach pebbles still in the pocket
-sleep!
-banjo lessons
-patient banjo teachers
-that I have clean water
-that I have had plenty to eat today
-that I am free to do with my life what my heart tells me I should

yet another rambling...

These past few days have been quite intense for me. Today I was reflecting on an old belief I had that "everyone can contribute to the world by finding their talents and seeing how they fit into a global picture... you can't help until you know what your passions are"... So now I'm a bit confused... hunger to me seems to be bubbling to the top again on my list of global issues to work on. Because it's a basic need, it seems to take precident over other things. Because millions of people cannot find what they have to offer the world because they haven't got enough food.... but then I look deeper and see that it's all so darn connected. Without respecting the natural world and using sustainable practices, we will have no resources ... without alleviating poverty, many have no hope... without religion, some lose the motive to help others and the faith that they could make a difference... without art, many don't feel expressed... without science, where do we begin to understand things... without nursing and health studies (holistic included), how can people function.... without a home, how can people have a chance in society... with the current economic stage of capitalism where the bottom line is money and not human rights, how can we ever seek justice?... and my meandering mind continues on its journey to seek out work for myself in this world of injustice and hope.... I would love to have your feedback.

More ramblings from the day....

Alright, now this one is fresh… cause I just got back from a really interesting convocation.  I got there late, rushin' from the ol' hunger education banquet so I had to sit in the very front row as it was one of the few seats left.  The speaker, John Hope Bryant, was tremendously informal… he got off the stage and came down and talked to us.  Anyway, sitting in the front it was possible to imagine that he was speaking just to me.  So I gave it a shot… he was talking about how we can all be revolutionaries.  He said if you want God to laugh, tell him your plans.  I thought of my own situation, as I grow closer and closer to the mysterious so-called "real-world" from this isolated bubble of academic luxery… I thought of today when I heard the David Wilcox song "Turning Point" when he said

"the trusting's fine, but much too blind, your compass is- within you…. These days pass you yearn like empty pages burn, you're holdin' out for somethin' real… but you can't play pretender, because you still remember just how full your heart can feel.  How long the distance, getting by and getting through-your heart's strong insistance says that nothin' else will do.  You could try on their distractions, wear some empty compromise, but it's hard to breathe inside some cheap disguise.  You can live your life completely-that true path you're here to find, or stay scared, and leave your destiny behind.  Right now, HERE'S THE TURNING POINT IN TIME."

 I am feeling now, more than I ever have a sense of service.  I feel like realistically, maybe I'm not meant to settle down with someone (ever)… but perhaps I have a path different than that.  I again felt slightly frustrated today when people did not take interest in learning about hunger… and still ask myself what we're really accomplishing here (at Berea) with this level of busy-ness.  I feel that my education for so long led me to believe that what you get credit for (or paid for) should be prioritized over all else.  I feel that I am about at my fill of academia, and ready to go do something with myself.  When folks can't learn about global poverty, because they are too busy working on homework this is problematic.  In no shape or form am I angry at the students (well, I wouldn't say angry anyway…) because I have been in that situation of the overworked, overstressed college student.  I'm just somewhat disgusted with my privelge of being able to study things like "plate techtonics" and plants I love so much while I have so much to learn about the world…. While 240 children die of starvation every ten minutes… what a sick situation…. So back to the positive side of things, I'm feeling like my path will without a doubt be filled with service… as I feel my heart has certainly spoken up on this issue.  I've really been thinking about relationships and families as well… and I'm not certain I want either (well, in the traditional setting of settling down in a relationship and starting a family of biological children).  I'm amused to reflect on what my stock response to the question "What do you want to do when you grow up?" has been.  I'm actually thinking of three responses… the first is one I recited with a smile anytime the question was asked to me from the age of 6 on that "I want to be happy"… the second answer is one I've used more recently that "I plan to do some kind of service for at least two years after Berea so the world can get some use out of me while I'm not sure what I want to do"… the third answer is one I've adopted even more recently than the previous response "I want to continue to be thankful and joyful".  Now correct me if I'm wrong, but perhaps these are all sides of the same answer.  Not only is service an option for the first two years after college, but perhaps what I should do with myself for all of my days… helping people does make one thankful, joyful, and happy.  So perhaps I have found my turning point in time…. I just might be onto something here.   

"Far and away the best prize that life offers is the chance to work hard at something worth doing"  Theodore Roosevelt

Ramblings...

Hey there folks…
    Just an update I think the Teach For America interview went well.  My heart is really telling me that this is a good option for me to serve and learn so much…. The more I think about it the more I feel that this is a part of my path.  The fates (and admissions folks) will make the call… I'll pass along updates as I get them. 

   On another note, I have felt confused lately by apathy on Berea's campus.  Granted, we are busy folk, with our labor positions and full time classloads…. But still...For Hunger and Homelessness awareness week there's been a group of us holding informational signs wherever we go.  I was sitting on the steps of the library with a sign that read "what have you done today to change the world?" passing out fliers of the week's educational and service events, they also had a ton of info about global poverty and what can be done.  I sat there for hours asking "would you like to learn more about hunger and homelessness?" to everyone passing by.  I was really a little disgusted by some of the responses I got.  One girl told me "It has nothing to do with me, don't give me that paper" others were just too involved in their own daily grind to take a second to receive a handout.  They would tell me "I'm late for class" or "I'm hungry too"… granted people have ideas about people who hold signs and hand out papers, that's another issue….but really, how does this happen?  How is it possible for us to become so absorbed in our own lives that we are so callous?  How can we call this an educational experience (college) if we become so absorbed in our artificial world of turning in papers and attending lectures that we don't give a damn about the state of the world beyond our campus boundaries?  How can we become so trivial as to have better attendance for a basketball game than a hunger awareness dinner?  Am I the only one who sees a problem with this?  How can Berea claim to be focused on service yet permit (and facilitate) the trivial busy-ness of students?  If we are to lead the world (as college educated folks) and change things positively (as Berea so often tries to tell us to do) how can our schedules be so chock-a-block with baloney?  I think this is also a bit shaking to me because I had been in that grind myself for so long… only now, after taking semester after semester of course overload am I able to sit by with a manageable number of classes.  Well I'd love to continue, but I must go to a meeting (see any irony here?!).

Thanks for listening to my rant… and do me a favor visit www.one.org and get involved.

Much love!
megs

ps- thankful list
-time enough to work for things I believe in
-food enough to fill my belly
-extra energy enough to run
-an able enough body to get me through the day
-lungs that work
-water that is clean
-music that is moving
-friends that are activists too
-the opportunity to work had at things worthwhile

The amusement of a college student...

Tonight (perhaps against my better judgement, perhaps not) I attended a school dance.  I found it to be just as amusing as I had remembered.  There were folks solomly meandering about looking for their "group" of friends to cut loose with, as if it were impossible to dance without them.  There were also the folks wandering about asking "have you seen so and so?".  Girls and boys in silly dress up clothes (I was sportin' the ever popular tie-dyed slip/skirt and a lime green polo… I did get dressy enough to include the whale earings as well.)  The perpetually amusing part was the whole personal space invasion.  I recall the mantra of me and the other Megan "spin away!" which came in handy when the randoms came out in full force.  I do declare that in the midst of all of that sillyness I somehow found a bit of soul shakin'… which was why I went.  Also amusing is the whole boy thing… So I'm feeling quite free and empowered at the moment, acknowledging that my being single is a decision I made and a darn good one at that.  But there are always those back burner folks that you keep in your peripheral vision… and interestingly enough two of those folks happened to both be in relationships (I was wondering…) and then there was the ever awkward tag-along who I had already decided not to date.  It seemed all the signs were saying "megan, it is a great time for you to focus on you".  Reflecting on the evening it all seems exceedingly petty and rediculous… but there is something real I find in dancing, some sort of  trans in a state of joyful presence. 

After the dance I had a chat to Tiffany who is in the midst of many struggles of the heart between a few fellas.  She's in a class-a bind and it made me most grateful that I was not in any sort of mix-up… that my heart is not in the volnerable position of a relationship right now…. That I won't have that to worry about as I decipher my post-Berea plans from the primortial soup of my current life.  I was reminded (as I am daily it seems) that life is so much more about getting back on your path than staying there.  In family relations we learned that one predictor of divorce is not how often a couple fights, but how successfully they make up.  So too is the case in life-it's not (and never has been!) about keeping focus, but rather finding focus again and again. 

May you find the something to be joyful about today :)

Thankful list:
-cake (there seems to be an abundance of it here)
-perspective shifts
-expression
-Iron and wine
-clean water
-being able to breathe well! 
-leisure reading
-sunshine
-freedom of heart
-dancing
-time for centering
-sleep
-hammocks
-the ability to read