...and too my heart is warming to the season. I feel much more open to love these days, and I don't mean the romantically exclusive kind that is fragile and awkward... I mean love that is so much bigger than that love that is Patty's dancing in the morning, love that is Pat's sense of home in his red chair, love that is both Alisa's wild laughter and sobbing. Since retreat I've had a big s-l-o-w d-o-w-n at L'Arche. I'm no longer trying to compensate for the short staffing... working at the pace I was working was making me unable to love. So, I go each morning to start the day with core members, and I let them unfold what the day holds... I am able to be present to them, now that I've refused to just be in the office when folks are home. If the poverty of L'Arche means under staffing every winter it shouldn't mean less care and attention for the core members... and no longer will I allow that to be my reaction to it. L'Arche is beautiful if you give yourself enough energy to enjoy it.

I have been brainstorming about so darn much I have a list of things I'm learning about that I want to share with y'all...below are the brief seeds of rambles that may be fuller in coming weeks...

-Racism-Obama's speech was amazing. It made me fear for his life. What courage and succinctness. I was blown away. Here's a link to it if ya missed it: http://www.npr.org/templates/story/story.php?storyId=88478467

-Classism-I am learning that I have a lot of anger about class! Also I didn't realize that I didn't come from the highest middle class background until I was out here in Seattle surrounded by volunteers who have come from a different background. Berea was fantastic, but going to a school for low-income students builds a sort of bubble that I hadn't been able to look past until now. I'm excited to learn more about this and integrate it into house conversations about social justice in our society.

-The moonrise over the lake-I caught it again and it was beautiful. Just delightful.

-Healthcare- My new part time job is researching medical options for asthmatics in our current system... it is very much shaping my job search. This has been interesting for me because I am coming to terms with my severe asthma, I'm not trying to out run it with cross country moves anymore. I'm also realizing that I have a lot of anger around the intersection of class and healthcare in our society. Last month my doctor told me that I should have a sinus scan done because that could be why I have so many respiratory infections... but then he told me I shouldn't do it on the insurance I have, because it would be too expensive. I can recall a time in Berea when I had a pneumonia and went to fill asthma prescriptions and when my card was denied the pharmacist took back the medicine.... the idea that in this country it is okay to deny people access to life saving technology is a bit absurd... that we've allowed the pharmaceutical companies to hi-jack our country... Sometimes I think about how much I wish for independence from prescriptions and chemically crafted wellness, but then I remember its asthma, you can't just stop breathing... so I take my medicine. I'm also curious because my dear nephew Rickey has AMC and Jennie says that kids in countries with socialized medicine with this condition don't usually ever get to walk. I am just so curious about healthcare reform.

-Growin' tires-I must share my joy that my housemates and I are gardening in tires that we get from the firestone down the street. On Easter Sunday Melvin and I mud-puddled and then brought a cart of tires up to our house for gardening. We'll be painting them next week :) The tire idea came from a movie we watched on retreat about The Simple Way. Corrie-bug could certainly tell you more, as she's been involved with the movement... but they are an inspiring bunch... their website www.simpleliving.org is worth a visit!

-Spring! Even though it's snowing here in Seattle, the days are longer and thank heavens! I'm going to try to upload a little video of the spring song.

- Bike commutin'! Heck yes, I'm in love with a blue bicycle (yet to be named). Sometimes I think it is silly to bike commute because I still get a bus pass (I get a good deal on it) and the bus will be going if I'm on it or not. My bike commuting isn't taking a car off the road. However, after a few days when I had a flat tire and couldn't ride, I realized how much I dig the morning and afternoon rides because they: punctuate my day, wake me up in the mornin' and re-energize me in the afternoon, give me good outside time, give me a chance to sing as loud as I can (on the downhills) whatever song is on my mind, put me in more direct contact with people in the city (riding a bus you don't usually talk to folks, but on bikes it feels easier to wish folks good morning and chat at stoplights), bring me joy and meaningful activity.

-Equinox.... how great it is that we are well on our way to the long days of summer, that brings me happiness!

-Visitin' Ohio soon! Missy Suzzane is having me come see her, and I am tickled pink to see that seester of mine again (and the rest of the family too).

...and I've sure got to get to bed soon...but before I go...
Today's Grateful list:
-morning dancing at L'Arche
-Mason Jenning's music
-clean water to drink
-my banjo
-our back porch
-my health
-sleeping
-daily bike rides
-gardening
-lunch breaks
-the core members I see most: Pat, Alisa, and Patty.
-mornings and springtime, and the promise of renewal offered in both

First and foremost, I must announce this odd phenomenon known as spring... that apparently comes a few months earlier on the west coast! In Ohio there was one of the worst March blizzards on record... here I've been bike commuting and stopping to smell jasmine on the way. Behold-crocuses!
A few shots of wintergrass that I finally uploaded... the quality isn't amazing, but below is just one of the many jams.
Last Saturday we had a hail storm, then rain that only covered half our yard (we were in that rather special spot between the rain and sun) then a rainbow... The reflection on our porch ledge is below. The trees reflected are a bigleaf maple and a hemlock.
Another wintergrass shot... I think this was the band "The Wilders"
The band at the UU! Here we are jammin' out for the kids at the church pj party a few weeks ago :) I didn't want to include a picture with any of the kids, since I don't have permission slips... but trust me they were adorable!
A quick update:
-I'm in love! With Earth Corps! (click here http://www.earthcorps.org/recent_events.php to see a pic of the event a few weeks ago... I'm in the middle pulling some ivy or blackberry root... doesn't it look like a blast!?). Every weekend that I'm in town I'm spending my Saturday morning doing restoration work in parks around Seattle. I love gettin' my hands dirty and meetin' cool folks. This past weekend we found a patch of skunk cabbage! (Which is an exothermic plant-it produces its own heat and can melt snow!... and it is a plant that I love!)


-Under staffing doesn't really get easier... but I'm feeling a new level of being able to detach from work. I wouldn't consider it the ideal L'Arche situation, which strives for community rather than detachment, but it is a necessary change that is working better for me.

-I'll be going on an LVC retreat starting this Thursday.... hooray!

-My spring song is complete (enough to sing... I'd like to add some fancy pickin', but I've got one version of it). It was funny to me how the seasonal songs have come about in different ways. The fall song was a slow composition integrating lines from various poems I had written. The winter song came quicker and had a contrast of darkness and hope (as any winter solstice song ought to). The spring song came quickly, and speaks to where I am right now in unfolding this future of mine. Also, it speaks of my excitement over sowing the seeds of this year's garden (my basil has sprouted!).

The lyrics are:
The time is now, for me to be ready
Spring show me how to awaken
The sleepy flowers on stems unsteady
Show me how to find the new again

Oh dear spring please lend me your trust
Help me feel the warm sunshine
And to believe in my own rootstock
And let me go where my heart does vine

Oh dear spring please bring your brightness
to where I stand on this green earth
and sow my bare winter toes deep
Waiting for the season to give birth

Oh dear spring grow your days long
And too the shadows of this tree
Stretch them both and I will let them
Convince me of my bloomability

Oh dear spring you are whole hearted
And that courage amazes me
Let me learn to be less guarded
And move with your kind of certainty

Oh dear spring I have these hope seeds
And beg for your wisdom to show
How to tend my life’s garden
And find a plot of soil where I can grow

*******************

Grateful list:
-prescription medications, and for some reason, whether I deserve it or not, my having access to them (thanks LVC!)
-spring!
-sunny bike rides
-the bridge in the Arboretum where the marsh smells like goat cheese... I love that smell.
-flowers, oh I am so grateful for flowers
-Earth Corps
-my banjo and mandolin
-clean water to drink
-having pancakes for dinner
-the beautiful act of preparing food for others... I love the tangibility and necessity of it.
-my sleeping bag and care bear blanket
-our neighbors Susan and Christine
-the postal service for transporting bits of delight
-daylight savings time
-the 6:40 am number 8 bus driver who said to me this morning "Sure haven't seen you in a while, where have ya been?" He was glad for me that I was getting to bike in the good weather. I was (and am) glad for his thoughtfulness... sweet of him to take note of the people on his route. Especially appreciated in contrast to the anonymity of the city.