More ramblings from the day....

Alright, now this one is fresh… cause I just got back from a really interesting convocation.  I got there late, rushin' from the ol' hunger education banquet so I had to sit in the very front row as it was one of the few seats left.  The speaker, John Hope Bryant, was tremendously informal… he got off the stage and came down and talked to us.  Anyway, sitting in the front it was possible to imagine that he was speaking just to me.  So I gave it a shot… he was talking about how we can all be revolutionaries.  He said if you want God to laugh, tell him your plans.  I thought of my own situation, as I grow closer and closer to the mysterious so-called "real-world" from this isolated bubble of academic luxery… I thought of today when I heard the David Wilcox song "Turning Point" when he said

"the trusting's fine, but much too blind, your compass is- within you…. These days pass you yearn like empty pages burn, you're holdin' out for somethin' real… but you can't play pretender, because you still remember just how full your heart can feel.  How long the distance, getting by and getting through-your heart's strong insistance says that nothin' else will do.  You could try on their distractions, wear some empty compromise, but it's hard to breathe inside some cheap disguise.  You can live your life completely-that true path you're here to find, or stay scared, and leave your destiny behind.  Right now, HERE'S THE TURNING POINT IN TIME."

 I am feeling now, more than I ever have a sense of service.  I feel like realistically, maybe I'm not meant to settle down with someone (ever)… but perhaps I have a path different than that.  I again felt slightly frustrated today when people did not take interest in learning about hunger… and still ask myself what we're really accomplishing here (at Berea) with this level of busy-ness.  I feel that my education for so long led me to believe that what you get credit for (or paid for) should be prioritized over all else.  I feel that I am about at my fill of academia, and ready to go do something with myself.  When folks can't learn about global poverty, because they are too busy working on homework this is problematic.  In no shape or form am I angry at the students (well, I wouldn't say angry anyway…) because I have been in that situation of the overworked, overstressed college student.  I'm just somewhat disgusted with my privelge of being able to study things like "plate techtonics" and plants I love so much while I have so much to learn about the world…. While 240 children die of starvation every ten minutes… what a sick situation…. So back to the positive side of things, I'm feeling like my path will without a doubt be filled with service… as I feel my heart has certainly spoken up on this issue.  I've really been thinking about relationships and families as well… and I'm not certain I want either (well, in the traditional setting of settling down in a relationship and starting a family of biological children).  I'm amused to reflect on what my stock response to the question "What do you want to do when you grow up?" has been.  I'm actually thinking of three responses… the first is one I recited with a smile anytime the question was asked to me from the age of 6 on that "I want to be happy"… the second answer is one I've used more recently that "I plan to do some kind of service for at least two years after Berea so the world can get some use out of me while I'm not sure what I want to do"… the third answer is one I've adopted even more recently than the previous response "I want to continue to be thankful and joyful".  Now correct me if I'm wrong, but perhaps these are all sides of the same answer.  Not only is service an option for the first two years after college, but perhaps what I should do with myself for all of my days… helping people does make one thankful, joyful, and happy.  So perhaps I have found my turning point in time…. I just might be onto something here.   

"Far and away the best prize that life offers is the chance to work hard at something worth doing"  Theodore Roosevelt