life in b-town

Hey y'all...
am back in b-town... thought you might enjoy some of my reflections from when I was in Anna though... these are some reflections on a walk I took one of my last nights in Anna....

Then the walk around Anna last night, full-up to the brim with memories... Past the library that used to be the Richardson's land... saw the one family in Anna that gave me exposure to race diversity... the football field I sold 50/50 tickets at reluctantly... the track I learned how to run on, yes the track I learned how to run on, to spite Dale Zumberger.... The school I spent how much time in... up the stairway to the drama stage where I gained confidence and some kind of small town fame... past the doors I left three years ago believing I'd come back to the area as a high school English teacher... past the post office that has served as a gateway to far off friends for years... to the community park where the sun seems to set just on the edge of town, so much so that some residents are quite convinced that the world ends just there (except for the other county schools, if not for them what sport's competition would their be?)... standing in a place where the sky is huge and as far as you can see are corn and soybean fields with the occasional farm house or tree break being the only obtrusions on the horizon, other than housing developments that is... housing developments with big SUVs and tiny recycling bins, full of American pride waving their flags high.... Land of work-a-holic for the lifestyle... then turned around again to face the tiny stretch that is our main street... past the bank where I got my first checking account and excitedly deposited Anna scholarship monies... past the store that was the frequent destination of late night "pop runs"... past the old library, now a daycare center... past the spot I rode in a police car to identify the man who had molested my sister and I... past the DuLaney's house that was the home of a best friend in a former life... past the Piatt's house where there are two less person due to Shelby County's alcohol obsession-via the resulting drunk driving and the war on Iraq, where one woman dresses her world in stars and stripes tryin to hold onto what she can.... Past the Holobaugh's house where we would play while Jennie babysat the twins.... Then down an alley where birds fled from one tree to another in groups so large you might need an umbrella to go underneath... it was as if each pigeon was clamoring for the best spot to watch the rapidly approaching sunset... then past Brittney's house where I once peeped anxious to understand she and missy's friendship, anxious to be as grown up as them... then later where I fled to from our house fire to find something to wear on that biting winter's night... then further down the alley to the basin where I learned to play softball in the summer and sled in the winter... past the Cosgrove's old house where I envied Kecia's looks and skills with makeup... approaching now the richest place for memories in this town... the world really... my own house... except from this angle, after this literal walk down memory lane, it too seemed a part of my distant past only... There were the trees that I first climbed and who are responsible for both my spirituality and environmental interests... the grape vine from Mrs. Zook's yard that mama and I used to make juice from... the remnants of Dad's garden... the shed aka-home to our middle school parties--"shindigs" we called them...and as I walk up the alley to it I'm tempted to keep on walkin' into the sunset, walk right past my own house and set out for my westward trek immediately, as my heart is out there right now anyway. So that's what Anna, Ohio feels like today... and I feel the walls of Shelby County just closin' in on me, really. I gotta keep movin'.

......

and back in Ber-town I have a lot of reflecting to do too... am working for SENS again... and it feels good to have work that feels like it has a purpose, and it has been wonderful to see my beloved Ecovillage... yet it is different somehow (I think that's where I come in...)... I've appreciated the comfortable space to grow that our prayer meditation space provides for me... how my heart has missed that! It's good to live with Paiger and Lucias, who informs me he is too old to be called Lu-puppy anymore, and also that he isn't a dog at all... he's a boy... so I can't even call him Lu-dawg. He tells me he's a human being... so I've agreed to call him "bean" and that's not pleasing either. He started kindergarten yesterday... yes, that chubby faced two year old I remember has grown into a crazy-punkish 4 year old wearing chuck taylors and pirate tee shirts to elementary school with his long curly hair. It's really cool.

something I'm struggling with lately is getting motivated to jump through hoops again... I feel like nothing matter more than developing my heart and sharing love with the world... I've been focusing on being a source of presence in the Ecovillage... and going from there.

and oh those trees... the best part of Berea is the quiet I get from those amazing woods. Have yet to get in a good night hike or campout, but I might save that for when Jessa-baby gets back in a few days. Have been running and that is good too...

thankful list:

-good books that help you grow--the current one is The Art of Loving ... I'll share some quotes later

-Friends

-People who shine with love

-tomatoes!

-rainwater cisterns

-elderhostel groups who want Ecovillage tours

-sun ovens

-Eckhart Tolle

-Switchfoot

-food (tofu, rice, cereal, rice milk, water today)

-grandma's cookies

-music that speaks

-all the baby handprints on low windows in the commons house