start now

Hey y'all...
Hope your lives are going well (please share your stories with me)... This week has been a bit of an adventure. After being here for a little over a month I decided I should no longer allow myself to notice that I'm still looking for real connections, haven't found a spiritual home, etc... I should stop noting these absenses and start taking responsibility to fill these spaces, even if I do it independently of others. So the motto of the week has been "start now"... based on this I went to a Uni Bible study, a detour club meeting, Thursday night dinner at a local church, the horse races, and did everything I could to put myself out there this week. I saw a sign in Albury that people were looking for a roommate to seek the enlightenment of Ishmael with... so I called them, not because I was looking for a room, but because they must be interesting people if they reference Ishmael on a flyer looking for a roommate... When I got ahold of them they told me they had filled the room, sorry, and goodbye... dang... oh well. Interestingly though, I was talking about the sign to a kid on campus who did know Daniel Quinn... so that was comforting. Slowly but surely, people are becoming more and more real. So over this week of putting myself out there, I have fallen on my face a good number of times when I ask what people think about spirituality or how their heart is and get only odd looks, giggles, or silence in return... but at least I'm being more honest about the sort of friendships I'm craving.
The biggest source of joy this week has been breathing well... how amazing it is to just do anything and not worry as much about breathing... :) I'm hoping to get back into running again soon.
Just got back from an 18 mile bike ride into the city and back. It's official, that is a fine commute for singing. Went to my favorite Botanical garden... there was a wedding going on and I was in a small way disappointed because I went there longing for a silence away from the city bustle... I was hoping for a quiet so still a tiny breeze could take center stage and calm me... So I popped on the headphones with my favorite mixed cd and created my own little haven for reflection and writing under an oak tree with sun slipping past me into patterns on the lawn. I wrote myself a small note that you may enjoy (or if you're wondering how I'm feeling, here it is)

Dear Megan,
Feel this breeze and sunshine... just feel today. Feel your heart as it fills with joy for freedom and breezes and adventures. Feel the identity and comfort from the music of a place you have fully been and use that stability to balance in the present on the edge of here and there... noting the pivitol nature of this moment as every minute has... this chasm about to be crossed.. this step about to be taken.... stop... breathe in this place...relax...gather your heart... and start now.

So.. that's the update on my heart... hope you are well...
much love,
Megger

ps-My skype is up and working so if anyone wants to talk to me for free you're welcome to do so, just download skype for free and look up my user name "megger714"