Greetings dear folks :)

After a bit of a hiatus from blogging, I am returning... with news of sillyness. The truth of it is that I got to reading everyone else's blogs and thought "shucks... all I do is take care of folks, and learn with them..." So, I write you from the perspective of a person living a pretty ordinary life these days, and recognize the triviality in what my blog may contain. I have had many questions about caregiving and ideas about direct service this year. It is rewarding, tough, hilarious, sad, joyful, and most everything in between... it usually involves some combination of getting marshmallows out of the toilet, bodily fluids out of the laundry, and folks to their jobs or day programs in a timely fashion (dressed appropriately, having had breakfast and any medications, with a lunch packed...) It's about being with folks... singing, dancing, cooking, cleaning, hugging, calming, and learning... But there are dangers of "direct" service... it can leave you exhausted and believing that you've fulfilled your obligation to creating change in the world... which in one way, you have worked toward that, but in reality there is a larger kind of change needing to happen as well. I am learning how to balance time and energy between what I might consider "activist" endeavors and "service". I've accepted that right now in a 40 hour per week volunteer caregiver position, it is likely that I will be tipped to one side of this teeter totter. My reckoning on the subject is that there are seasons in life, and now I'm in the season of work that I can see... work that I can be changed by... work that is opening my heart... work that might not be working toward a specific "end" but rather employing love as the "means". I'll be honest though that the continuing environmental crisis is certainly tugging at my heart and I look forward to a time when I can be back into that movement more fully. I've also been slack on writing because we just lost two of our five staff members in the house I work in. It has been an adjustment to go from three live in assistants and two 40 hour assistants to one live in assistant and two 40 hour assistants. I think we've adjusted well. Communication is easier and quicker and we've gotten good at cooking in mass quantities and freezing portions for lunches and dinners later. The house isn't as tidy and we don't get as many projects done... but we are still being with folks. Here's a short blurb I wrote after Marc and Rennie left (their leaving brought up some feelings about Tom's passing):

Lifetimes have passed...

and still we're just doing the meager work

of living together.

That is enough.

To their core people just want to share love.

...and that's my job.

Time, though, is peculiar in this place-

lives end, people grow

people come and people go.

...and still dinner needs to be on the table,

mouths need to be fed...

no matter how tough transitions might be.

******

Another little poem that I wrote is about two amazing trees I pass on my walks between the L'Arche houses... (although the poem seems sad, it's mostly just loving these beautiful trees...)

****

The mighty beeches stand together.

They are sisters.

Sisters with moss trails from years of tear streaks.

Sisters who collect rain together and funnel that heart precipitation to their roots.

Sisters who hold hands in their twisted together crowns.

Sisters who have undoubtedly intertwined roots that draw from the same soil.

Beautiful, wise sisters.

I pass by you with hopes that I might learn to subsist on my tears as well.

***

Here are a few pics from recent times....

In early December we got a nice snow here in Seattle.

Here's our sno-w-oman and the Sula ladies dressed in holiday flair. (yes those are real laderhosen)
Here's my little garden. The tiny pothos in the giant pot, which came from a free pile, is named Hope. The others don't have names yet. With the exception of the venus fly trap (small square pot) all of them have grown from clippings that I've propagated in my time here.

My Charlie Brown tree! I should tell you about the ornaments too... the bottom one is a little mouse that says "granddaughter is only a phone call away", eneman sits on the tree top, and angels made by Melvin's mom are in between. On either side of the tree are messages in bottles that we found months ago when we were kayaking on the Puget Sound. Some recent journalings follow:

It has been a while since I last updated this ol' site. I hope y'all have been well. This weekend has been most fantastic! All of my housemates are gone so I've gotten to have the entire house to myself... hooray! I love the housemates but I often have trouble getting enough space living in an intentional community (of 7 women), working in one as well, and having a roommate. To celebrate this freedom I've taken a candle lit bath while listening to The Prophet, made a fruit smoothie for breakfast (just for myself!), sung myself many songs with the banjo, read lovely books, left stuff wherever I wanted, knowing I'd be able to find it there when I got back, left dishes in the sink until I wanted to wash them, made mac-n-cheese for just myself as well... it has been so enjoyable. I think it would be dreamy to live alone at some point in my life, but who even knows where I'll go from here. I also cut all my hair off again, because I feared I was losing my wildness looking so regular like I was. It's been as much of a hoot as I expected and I'm enjoying the challenge of making my own natural hair products, I'll let y'all know how that goes.... (mission accomplished! mix 1 cup boiling water with 1 tsp unflavored gelatin.. store in sealed container in the fridge... when using mix with a smidge of washable glue)

onto matters more of the heart....

My housemates (who were home), a few friends and I had a wonderful Solstice celebration. We wanted to celebrate the longest night of the year so we used only candle light (save one light to chop veggies by) after the dusk. We all brought some darkness to share. Some folks read their poetry or journal or writings of others. I shared my most recent song which is about a few seasons my heart has known. We talked about what darknesses are currently on our hearts, and also those in the world. We wrote (and some folks drew) their darknesses on little slips of paper. Then we were all sleepy from hanging out in the dark and a long work week, so we all went to bed. We woke up before the sun to have a dawnce (that's a dance at dawn) on the patio. It was a hoot! Then we burned our little slips of paper and had a wonderful breakfast Rebs made. Later that day Sarah and I made Lemonchello, an alcoholic lemon drink, that will have fermented enough to be ready for new year's eve. It was a wonderful celebration and a good reminder of how genuine it is to create your own traditions.

...let me know if anyone is interested in a cd of all the songs I've written (and tell me where to send it).

Something our house has been learning about lately is homelessness. We all went to the Real Change rally last week (Real change is a newspaper that low income people in Seattle help write and can sell on the streets check out http://www.realchangenews.com/ ). At a time of year when most folks are settling into the throws of consumerism the homeless in Seattle get mighty cold. The rally was to protest the camp clearings that the cops do. The cops will take the stuff (usually sleeping bags) of homeless folks to "clean" the city.

I was really pleased with a gift exchange we had at work with strict rules. You had to either make the gift or have owned it for at least a year (and like it!). I made a hand embroidered patch that says L'Arche and gave a cd of my songs. I received a homebrewed beer, scarf, and granola... it was just so much fun that no one spent any money for it. People gave things like a baked good of the month, a homemade indian dinner, homemade journals, pies, cookies, coupons for massages, drawings, notecards, photos, and favorite books. An interesting site that you might like to check out is http://www.storyofstuff.com/ .

Here's a nice tree (I'm guessing it's a birch of some sort). This beautiful blue-sky day happened on Christmas Eve and I spent most of it at the arboretum.
I know it's cheesy, but I wanted to share the latest hair chop with y'all 'cause it has been a delight in my life.... sometimes it's the littlest things, really. In the pic I'm on the phone with Missy, who after we brushed our teeth together demanded a photo of my haircut.

...and after much rambling... there was a grateful list:

-friends who sent love (tangible and otherwise) over the holidays from faraway places, helping me to put my experiences here in Seattle into perspective as one section of my life

-new littler hair to spike and style randomly quickly in the mornings

-space! A house with no housemates for a while

-quiet (refer to previous comment)

-time to learn what I want to! Being out of school is fantastic because you get to read what you want

-marshmallow clogged toilets, because what else would you want to start the day with?

-dancing

-holiday thermal shirts to be worn any time it's chilly

-enough clean water to drink

-enough food to fill my belly

-enough resources to volunteer for a year

-core members welcoming me into their lives

-stickers

-seasons of life

-my green 'jo

-a place to sleep at night out of the rain with heat

-housemates to share this adventure with

-houseplants

-hugs

ps-what are people's resolutions? I think mine might have to do with patience, joy, and writing representatives more... but I've not settled yet.