Stress...eek... but wait... there's a surprise ending

I can feel that I am getting closer to the end of my time in Australia... there are times I lie awake in bed at night with anticipation of what my last year at Berea will bring... what SENS will be like, what it will be like to be in that beloved Ecovillage again... and I think of what it will be like to be reunited with my family and friends (in the Ohio area as least)... and I'm excited.. everyone lately has been asking me if I'm homesick and it's planted the thought I do believe. The farmers in this area continue to burn off their fields and the parks are still doing prescribed burns... so I'm still fighting the inevitable asthma all the time... Because the smoke is everywhere I can't really avoid it at all. .... today as I was having a coughing fit in class I hear someone behind me whisper to the person beside him that he is "so annoyed by that coughing, he can't even concentrate at all with it"... I'm tempted to turn around interrupt class and say something angry like "Hey... I don't know if you've noticed but it's smoky outside.... and I've had asthma for years... Do you realize how ridiculous it is for you to be angry about my coughing fits? How do you think I feel when I can't sleep because I'm up coughing all night? How do you think I feel that I haven't been able to breath properly since I've been in this country? So I'm even not sorry if I've interrupted your class today!" I've been feeling short fused and frustrated a good bit lately. I think it's just that old (searching for a term here... friend won't work, because I don't like it; acquaintance won't work, because I know it too well...)anyway... I think perhaps it is stress. I'm feeling a bit sick and run down and tired of assignments as well as living in this house with people who do not know me well. argg.... Need to take some time out for me (and somehow get everything done in time). I've been writing at least two papers a week for a while now... and it does tend to wear on one after a while....

things I'm thankful for today:
-that today will end and I'll get a new chance at everything tomorrow
-Tim Tams
-orange juice
-soft hankies
-warm tea

wait... this just in... a knock on my bedroom door followed by the entrance of my housemate Sarah revealed to her my bloodshot eyes and face of frustration with the day.... and she leaves quickly only to return even faster with Rissa and Ellie bearing chocolates and teddy bears for me to eat and borrow (the cutest part is the chocolate Rissa brought me had teeth marks, she only had one piece in her fridge left, and she had eaten half, but still wanted to give me something)... I know it's cheesy... and I know that these girls don't know me that well... but I'm thankful for their hugs today... I'm also thankful for frustration that flares as a warning sign that I need to take time for me... I appreciate life's little indicators that keep you going in the right direction...

oh yeah... and I changed one of my goals for the week... I won't attempt to finish the assignment due on Monday before I leave on Thursday... I'll just take it with me, Sven will understand, I'm sure. Heck, he's probably got assignments to work on as well.